Conversation guides

Speaking to other people about sexual consent is a step we have to take to keep young people safe and set them up for future success.  

Step 1 is to talk to with other adults to build a clearer understanding of consent. Once you’re on the same page as other adults, you’ll be ready to talk to young people. 

Step 2 is to talk with young people. The Adult to Child guide has practical age-appropriate advice. 

Filters

Adult to adult guide

Step 1: Talking consent with other adults

Download the adult to adult conversation guide

Why should we care about sexual consent?

As parents and family members, we want the best for our kids. We want them to be happy and to make safe, responsible decisions. Recent research shows that young people agree the adults in their lives should talk to them more about sexual consent. Fortunately, we have the power to positively shape their attitudes and behaviours. But we need to work together.

When we think about sexual consent, many adults think of the negative side. How getting it wrong can lead to serious consequences for everyone involved. This is natural because we want to protect our children and it’s how many of us were raised. But talking about consent doesn’t have to be something that only happens when things go wrong. 

Instead, we can see reaching, withholding and communicating consent as part of the suite of skills that anyone can learn. These conversations become an important part of each young person’s development, setting them up to have healthy and safe relationships.

How do we think about consent?

Right now, men and women have very different views on how consent is put into practice. We aren't aligned on what it looks like, what's involved, if it's easy or difficult to discuss, or even its role in our relationships.

Our lack of shared understanding has a direct impact on the next generation and their ability to have healthy relationships.

  • One study into the attitudes of 16 to 24 year olds revealed that 38 per cent agree that ‘it is common for sexual assault accusations to be a way of getting back at men’.
  • Around a quarter of them (32 per cent) believe it’s common for women who say they were raped to have led the man on and then had regrets. 

This suggests young Australians can struggle to recognise consent and sexual violence.

However, providing positive information and examples during the early years and adolescence can help young people to develop mutually respectful relationships and prevent harm. But before we talk to young people, we need to focus on talking among adults first.

Why should we talk to other adults first?

Before we have these conversations with young people, us adults need to get on the same page about consent to provide them with a united message.

Sexual consent is not usually a topic that adults openly discuss. It’s not even a topic that many of us fully understand ourselves. Some of us avoid it altogether because we don’t have all the answers and it makes us uncomfortable. 

The best way to get around this is to learn about the issue and talk with others. Talk to other adults you trust, like your partner or a close friend. Your personal views on consent might not align perfectly and that’s okay. When we consider different perspectives, we can come to a shared understanding about the issue.

Remember that these conversations will help you feel more confident. The more you educate yourself, the more equipped you’ll be to have informed conversations with other adults about consent, and ultimately that means the kids in your life will be safer.