So what is sexual consent? 
I dunno. 
Is it about saying yes or no to sex? 
Do I have to ask every time? 
What about if we're dating? 
Ummm...
Hi, I'm Anita Heiss. 
I'm a Wiradjuri yinaa and I'm here to talk about sexual consent. 
It feels like there's lots of talk about consent these days and everyone's got a different idea about what it is. 
So it's important we yarn about it and try and clear some things up so no one gets confused. 
So back to the question, what is sexual consent? 
Sexual consent is defined as a free, voluntary and informed agreement shared between people each time they take part in a sexual activity. 
Which means that when it comes to getting it on, whether it's kisses, touching or anything more, nothing happens unless everyone agrees to it. 
It also means being okay with online stuff, like swapping nude pics, vids or racy texts. 
Basically, if it's about sex and others are involved, it's all about everyone giving the nod. 
There is only consent if you make the choice to do something sexual without anyone pushing or bullying you or making it a shame job. 
You make it clear you're keen to join in by saying it, showing it, or if you're sexting with someone, texting it. 
So everyone's on the same page. 
Everyone involved has to be okay with what's happening and having fun. 
You have to know exactly what's going on and be okay with it. 
So, for example, you can't consent to sex if you're asleep. 
You have to keep saying or showing you're okay with what's happening before and during the sexual activity, not just once, but every time. 
No matter if you're just hooking up for the first time, been going out or been in a relationship for ages. 
And if you change your mind at any time before or during sex or decide you're not into it anymore, that's totally deadly and okay. 
You can stop or slow down at any time. 
So what does consent sound like?

I really like that. 
Is this okay? 
Yeah, that feels good. 
I want to do this. 
Are you happy to keep going? 
It's all good if you want to stop. 
We're all different, we use different words, but you get the idea. 
Ah, deadly. 
So what doesn't consent sound like? 
I don't think I want to. 
No, not now. 
Let's stop, aye. 
I've changed my mind. 
This doesn't feel right. 
Nah, this is gammon. 
As you can see, there are a heap of ways to say no. 
But remember, even if someone doesn't say no or push back physically or they stay really quiet, it still doesn't mean they're all okay with having sex. 
So keep checking in and if you're not sure, just ask. 
That way everyone gets to feel good about what's going on. 
Can consent be withdrawn at any time? 
Hell yeah. 
But there's a point where there's no going back, right? 
Let's be really clear. 
It's okay to change your mind at any time before or during doing anything sexual. 
When can't someone consent to sex even if they say they do? 
That is a tricky one. 
I reckon if they've had too many beers. 
I dunno, when? 
Okay, so there's a few reasons why someone isn't able to give consent under any circumstances. 
First, if you're under a certain age you legally can't consent because there's a thing in the law called the age of consent and it's 16 or 17 depending on where your mob live and the age of the people involved. 
Second, if someone's off their head or out of it because of grog or drugs, they can't consent.

Same goes if someone's asleep or passed out, no consent there. 
If someone doesn't understand what's going on or if they've been bullied, conned or tricked, they can't consent either. 
Having sex without consent isn't just bad and not on, it's against the law. 
What is online consent? 
Like...sexting and sending nudes and stuff. 
Asking if she wants a spicy pic?
Clicking "like"?
Sex isn't just about having sex. It's any kind of sexual activity which includes sending sexy texts, pics or vids to someone. 
Unless the other person's keen, don't hit that send button. 
And when it comes to photos and videos, don't share them around if the people in them don't want you to. 
If you're not sure, it's easy. 
Don't do it. 
Simple as that. 
What does power and control have to do with consent? 
You gammon?
Yeah, no idea. 
Like...you shouldn't force someone physically? 
Do you mean having sex with someone because they pressure you? 
Saying no or stop to sexual activity can be hard, especially when there's what's called a power imbalance. 
That means one person has more power than the other. 
That could be because someone's older, like a family friend. 
Maybe they're in charge at work or got some authority, like a boss, a coach or a teacher. 
Or you might not understand what the person is asking you to do. 
Or they say they'll break up with you if you don't have sex with them. 
It can be really scary to speak up if this happens. 
The person with the power might not even realise they're doing something wrong, but they are, and that's why it's important to talk to someone you trust. 
There are people in our communities who really care, and they know how to help out. 
So please don't keep it to yourself if it's happening to you, or someone that you know. 
Having a good yarn about sexual consent makes things safer for everyone, which means a lifetime of deadly, respectful, strong relationships. 
Remember, there's lots of great resources to help you. 
Head to consent.gov.au to find out where you can get more information about sexual consent, yarning to other adults and yarning to our young ones. Because consent can't wait.